Tuesday, April 19, 2005

what's the difference?

I decided to take Ali's challenge and photograph myself. I didn't like very many of the shots I took, but this one in particular stood out to me because it is how I see myself. The expression is me, sort of uneasy and unsure. The picture made me think of a book I was reading the other night, Upside down Brilliance by Linda Kreger Silverman . I reread the chapter on introversion, and I have come to realize that I am an introvert. So many of the things I didn't understand about myself, or thought were strange, are common traits of introversion. In her book, Linda says,

"Many introverts perfect their public appearance, so that they behave one way in the world and another way at home. This public face is what Jung called a "persona." The persona plays a vital role in the lives of introverts, protecting them from too much intrusion and stimulation from the outer world. but it's also a burden to have to put on a personality like a girdle every time you leave your home."

This statement rings very true for me. I feel like I have to psyche myself up before I go to any social occasion, I really have to put myself out there. I really have to try to make conversation and appear involved, when I would really rather be at home reading a book, or scrapbooking. It's not to say that I don't enjoy the company of my close friends, but to be at a large party or event makes me uncomfortable.

So, back to my question, I wonder how different my "public" persona is from my private? Do u have a "public" persona? And how different are they? Just something to ponder.

1 comment:

lisa grider said...

funny to me how an introvert can bare their soul so poignantly. You find beautiful ways to redefine yourself all of the time. You may be on the inside but those of us on the outside of you see beauty that runs deep in your veins.

i miss you