things that made me smile today

- I got a new pottery barn catalog in the mail today. I can't wait to take a look at it tonight and add a bunch more stuff to my wish list for the new house. :)
- Shannon singing her heart out to "Rockin' around the Christmas Tree" (yes, we are listening to x-mas music in April), and she says " Mommy, who is the best singer in our family?" I say, "Who, Shan?", to which she replies, "Of course it is ME, Mommy!!!" ( i just giggle to myself)
-Tired kids in bed early.
-Shopping for a couple new albums today for an upcoming project. Found these awesome SEI preservation albums. They are so yummy.
-The kids ate broccoli with their lunch today.
-Getting my list of errands done today.

garden 

gardening

"In my garden there is a large place for sentiment. My garden of flowers is also my garden of thoughts and dreams. The thoughts grow as freely as the flowers, and the dreams are as beautiful. " ~Abram L. Urban

I loved this quote that I read the other day, kind of reminded me why we started our garden this year.

Ryne really wanted to grow some vegetables and flowers this year. So about a month ago we took a trip to the local Walmart and bought a seed tray and a bunch of different seeds of his choosing. Sunflowers, Jacobs Ladder, Crenshaw melon, tomato, green beans, and watermelon. We came home and planted them and watered them. Then we waited, and waited, and waited. Every day Ryne would ask when they were going to sprout and finally, after 5 days we had some sproutlings. All the kids were so excited, they couldn't believe something had sprouted from the tiny seeds. We let them grow a couple of weeks in the tray, then two weekends ago, we planted them in the bed on the side of our house. I'm not sure how well they will grow there, but we will give it a shot. Not to mention that I have about 6 melon plants pretty close to one another, so I guess if they thrive we will be replanting in another spot :) Anyways, back to my original thought...

Thoughts,hopes, and dreams are growing with this garden. Ryne would love to see the sunflowers get to be taller than him, and I would love to have some big tomatoes. But it goes much deeper, I think. For me, it is a moment of solice and peace to go out in the morning and water the garden. To have a second to ponder the upcoming days events and dream about the future. I often think about my grandmother when I am working in the garden. She loved to be outside digging in the dirt. And if anyone knew anything about plants, it was her. How could I not think about her when I am able to use HER hand shovel? Just to hold it in my hand makes my heart warm. I think of her often and miss her terribly. There is so much I feel I don't know about her. In our garden, my thoughts and dreams are plentiful, and full of sentiment.

me! 

what's the difference?

I decided to take Ali's challenge and photograph myself. I didn't like very many of the shots I took, but this one in particular stood out to me because it is how I see myself. The expression is me, sort of uneasy and unsure. The picture made me think of a book I was reading the other night, Upside down Brilliance by Linda Kreger Silverman . I reread the chapter on introversion, and I have come to realize that I am an introvert. So many of the things I didn't understand about myself, or thought were strange, are common traits of introversion. In her book, Linda says,

"Many introverts perfect their public appearance, so that they behave one way in the world and another way at home. This public face is what Jung called a "persona." The persona plays a vital role in the lives of introverts, protecting them from too much intrusion and stimulation from the outer world. but it's also a burden to have to put on a personality like a girdle every time you leave your home."

This statement rings very true for me. I feel like I have to psyche myself up before I go to any social occasion, I really have to put myself out there. I really have to try to make conversation and appear involved, when I would really rather be at home reading a book, or scrapbooking. It's not to say that I don't enjoy the company of my close friends, but to be at a large party or event makes me uncomfortable.

So, back to my question, I wonder how different my "public" persona is from my private? Do u have a "public" persona? And how different are they? Just something to ponder.

at our property-Millerton Lake 

a journey

"How one lives as a private person is intimately bound into the work. At some point I believe one has to stop holding back for fear of alienating some imaginary reader or relative or friend, and come out with personal truth. If we are to understand the human condition, and if we accept ourselves in all the complexity, self-doubt, extravagance, of feeling guilt, joy, the slow freeing of self to its full capacity for action and creation both as a human being and an artist, we have to know all we can about each other and we have to be willing to go naked." -May Sarton

I found this quote through another blog I read and it just spoke to me. This is basically why I started this journal, to try to free myself to feel what I feel, to become more real. To try to understand the real me. Who am I? Throughout my life, I have always tried to please people, whether it be my parents, my teachers, or my friends. I feel like I am always trying to do and say what I think other people would like to hear, I feel like I hold things back. I know it will take some time and work to change this habit, but it is something that I really would like to work on, and I think through this journal I will be able to make some headway. So don't be surprised if you learn a few new things about me, because I know that I will learn some things as well. I am on a journey of self-discovery!

a new chapter begins

Today was our first official day of homeschooling. Ryne was so excited to actually get started. We did lots of interesting stuff. Started the day with a little math( we're learning about money), then moved onto some phonics and then some language arts, and top it off with a little art. Ryne worked on a self-portrait today, which I wanted to post, but he wasn't quite finished putting in his exact eye color, so we'll have to wait another day. All in all it was a really good day, he learned new things and had fun. I know we will have our good days and bad days, but in my heart I know this is the right thing for Ryne. I also wanted to thank everyone who has supported us in making this tough decision.

things that make me happy

1. the kindness of friends

2.the loud laughter of three kids
3. the smell of blooming magnolias in the air
4. two kids taking a much needed snooze on the couch
5. big beautiful blue sky
6. Daddy coming home from work early and playing with the kids

the gang 

Baby Grant 

a new addition

Just wanted to say Congratulations to Lisa and Chris on the arrival of little baby Grant. He was born 4/6/05, 7 lbs 3 oz, 19 ½ inches long. Lisa sent pictures yesterday. Glad to hear that everyone is doing great, and we can't wait to meet the new addition.

waiting for the pitch 

daddy & drew 

Photobucket

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opening night-Ryne & Shan 

shan practicing t-ball 

opening day (night)

Well tonight was our first t-ball game. Ryne and Shannon are both playing this year. Everyone was excited to get to the field tonight. We brought plenty of water in case they worked up a sweat. I had the camera ready to take lots of pictures.
When we arrived there were lots of people and we all gathered around to hear the field assignments and get our team shirts and hats. This year the kids are on the Chiefs and we get to wear purple shirts. Finally, the first pitch was thrown. The games are only 4 innings long, everyone hits per inning. No outs. Our games are on Tuesday nights from 6-7.
Both Ryne and Shannon did really well, and of course were so cute. Ryne hit his first pitch, but forgot where to run, so he turned around and ran to Dad instead. Shan hit her first one off the t and ran to first and then second, and then decided to stay at second. She kept forgetting to run. Everyone was cheering each other on. I got my camera out and was just about ready to take some shots and Drew starts to run onto the field after daddy. He chased after Daddy the whole game, so needless to say, I didn't get many pictures. Drew and I ended up racing each other around, and Ryne and Shan had a great time. It was a great night for t-ball.

One down...

Well this is one thing I can check off my list of "to-do" things for this year. I am actually starting a journal. I made a scrapbook page as part of my CK Hall of Fame entry that focused on my goals for the upcoming year. I really enjoyed creating layout and finally putting my thoughts in writing. This is going to be my art journal, of sorts. All of the things that inspire and move me, will (hopefully) be documented for me to refer to later. I named my blog "...in the moment" because that is where I want to be, experiencing and enjoying and soaking up the moment. I want to record all the things that I lie in bed every night and think about.