be

This is another entry for my ARt Journal. I am really enjoying this class. I am loving the creative freedom I'm feeling. The weekend spark was about " our favorite place to be". Rather than a place, I have a time of day. the evenings, after the house has calmed down, after our busy day, is when I can just "be". It is when I am able to think, breathe, relax, and rejuvenate. I wanted to convey this in my page. I used lots of bright colors to show the movement and busy-ness of my day, and the black at the bottom is to show the quiet at night. I used all acrylic paints, foam stamps, and a white paint pen.

be 

recapture youth 

recapture youth

This is the first project I completed for my art journal class. I just signed up for the class on Monday, so I am a couple weeks behind, but I just wanted to jump right in and do this weeks assignment. I will catch up on the others later. I read this weeks topic and just had all these really cool ideas come to me, so I just went with it. This piece is about recapturing youth. Lately I've been feeling the weight of so much responsibility, and have been craving a break. Last month I took the kids to a skating party, and got to put on a pair of skates and take a lap. Ever since then I have been dying to get back out there. Lots of good memories of skating when I was a kid. Just want to be a kid again, well, act like a kid for a few hours. Anyways... here it is...

new inspiration

I decided to finally take the plunge and sign up for the Art Journal Challenge. I have been wanting to do an art journal for over six months now. I've read alot about them and am dying to try it. I think this structured format will help me get this done, plus I get some really cool, and interesting prompts to get my creative juices flowing. My scrapbook style lately seems to be really linear, nice clean lines. But I just love to look at collage and art journals. I just wonder if I will be able to do, but I can't wait to get started. Be sure to check back and take a look.

celebrate! 

my creative mess 

random thoughts

I feel like I have been running non-stop for over a week now. I've been thinking about a lot of different things lately, so what better way to get it all down.

-I've been feeling out of control a lot lately. We've been very busy with different activities and now with school on top of it, I am feeling a little overwhelmed.
-I've had so many cool thoughts for scrapbook pages and creating different things, but I just don't seem to have the time to bring ideas thru to fruition.
-I've also been thinking a lot about balance. Something I feel I don't have right now. I guess it is all related to the feeling out of control and not organized. My house is a mess, I don't feel organized about school stuff yet. I haven't come up with a system yet, so I just feel out of sorts. I don't feel like I am balancing the housework, schoolwork, kid-time, Rich-time, and me-time very well.
-I've come to the realization that I can't continue to go gangbusters after my goal of getting published in the scrapbooking world. It's so time consuming, and I really don't have that time right now, which really bums me out because it is something that I know I could make happen. I feel like I have found "my style" after doing my Hall of Fame layouts, and I just want to continue to create and express my feelings thru that medium. I know I will never be able to completely stop creating, but for now, it's in slow-down mode.
-It's finally starting to sink in that I need to take control of our family's eating habits. I know our diet is horrible, and I've been researching the GF/CF diet. I think we will slowly try to switch to this.

Enough ramblings for now...

things that made me smile today

- I got a new pottery barn catalog in the mail today. I can't wait to take a look at it tonight and add a bunch more stuff to my wish list for the new house. :)
- Shannon singing her heart out to "Rockin' around the Christmas Tree" (yes, we are listening to x-mas music in April), and she says " Mommy, who is the best singer in our family?" I say, "Who, Shan?", to which she replies, "Of course it is ME, Mommy!!!" ( i just giggle to myself)
-Tired kids in bed early.
-Shopping for a couple new albums today for an upcoming project. Found these awesome SEI preservation albums. They are so yummy.
-The kids ate broccoli with their lunch today.
-Getting my list of errands done today.

garden 

gardening

"In my garden there is a large place for sentiment. My garden of flowers is also my garden of thoughts and dreams. The thoughts grow as freely as the flowers, and the dreams are as beautiful. " ~Abram L. Urban

I loved this quote that I read the other day, kind of reminded me why we started our garden this year.

Ryne really wanted to grow some vegetables and flowers this year. So about a month ago we took a trip to the local Walmart and bought a seed tray and a bunch of different seeds of his choosing. Sunflowers, Jacobs Ladder, Crenshaw melon, tomato, green beans, and watermelon. We came home and planted them and watered them. Then we waited, and waited, and waited. Every day Ryne would ask when they were going to sprout and finally, after 5 days we had some sproutlings. All the kids were so excited, they couldn't believe something had sprouted from the tiny seeds. We let them grow a couple of weeks in the tray, then two weekends ago, we planted them in the bed on the side of our house. I'm not sure how well they will grow there, but we will give it a shot. Not to mention that I have about 6 melon plants pretty close to one another, so I guess if they thrive we will be replanting in another spot :) Anyways, back to my original thought...

Thoughts,hopes, and dreams are growing with this garden. Ryne would love to see the sunflowers get to be taller than him, and I would love to have some big tomatoes. But it goes much deeper, I think. For me, it is a moment of solice and peace to go out in the morning and water the garden. To have a second to ponder the upcoming days events and dream about the future. I often think about my grandmother when I am working in the garden. She loved to be outside digging in the dirt. And if anyone knew anything about plants, it was her. How could I not think about her when I am able to use HER hand shovel? Just to hold it in my hand makes my heart warm. I think of her often and miss her terribly. There is so much I feel I don't know about her. In our garden, my thoughts and dreams are plentiful, and full of sentiment.

me! 

what's the difference?

I decided to take Ali's challenge and photograph myself. I didn't like very many of the shots I took, but this one in particular stood out to me because it is how I see myself. The expression is me, sort of uneasy and unsure. The picture made me think of a book I was reading the other night, Upside down Brilliance by Linda Kreger Silverman . I reread the chapter on introversion, and I have come to realize that I am an introvert. So many of the things I didn't understand about myself, or thought were strange, are common traits of introversion. In her book, Linda says,

"Many introverts perfect their public appearance, so that they behave one way in the world and another way at home. This public face is what Jung called a "persona." The persona plays a vital role in the lives of introverts, protecting them from too much intrusion and stimulation from the outer world. but it's also a burden to have to put on a personality like a girdle every time you leave your home."

This statement rings very true for me. I feel like I have to psyche myself up before I go to any social occasion, I really have to put myself out there. I really have to try to make conversation and appear involved, when I would really rather be at home reading a book, or scrapbooking. It's not to say that I don't enjoy the company of my close friends, but to be at a large party or event makes me uncomfortable.

So, back to my question, I wonder how different my "public" persona is from my private? Do u have a "public" persona? And how different are they? Just something to ponder.

at our property-Millerton Lake 

a journey

"How one lives as a private person is intimately bound into the work. At some point I believe one has to stop holding back for fear of alienating some imaginary reader or relative or friend, and come out with personal truth. If we are to understand the human condition, and if we accept ourselves in all the complexity, self-doubt, extravagance, of feeling guilt, joy, the slow freeing of self to its full capacity for action and creation both as a human being and an artist, we have to know all we can about each other and we have to be willing to go naked." -May Sarton

I found this quote through another blog I read and it just spoke to me. This is basically why I started this journal, to try to free myself to feel what I feel, to become more real. To try to understand the real me. Who am I? Throughout my life, I have always tried to please people, whether it be my parents, my teachers, or my friends. I feel like I am always trying to do and say what I think other people would like to hear, I feel like I hold things back. I know it will take some time and work to change this habit, but it is something that I really would like to work on, and I think through this journal I will be able to make some headway. So don't be surprised if you learn a few new things about me, because I know that I will learn some things as well. I am on a journey of self-discovery!

a new chapter begins

Today was our first official day of homeschooling. Ryne was so excited to actually get started. We did lots of interesting stuff. Started the day with a little math( we're learning about money), then moved onto some phonics and then some language arts, and top it off with a little art. Ryne worked on a self-portrait today, which I wanted to post, but he wasn't quite finished putting in his exact eye color, so we'll have to wait another day. All in all it was a really good day, he learned new things and had fun. I know we will have our good days and bad days, but in my heart I know this is the right thing for Ryne. I also wanted to thank everyone who has supported us in making this tough decision.

things that make me happy

1. the kindness of friends

2.the loud laughter of three kids
3. the smell of blooming magnolias in the air
4. two kids taking a much needed snooze on the couch
5. big beautiful blue sky
6. Daddy coming home from work early and playing with the kids

the gang 

Baby Grant 

a new addition

Just wanted to say Congratulations to Lisa and Chris on the arrival of little baby Grant. He was born 4/6/05, 7 lbs 3 oz, 19 ½ inches long. Lisa sent pictures yesterday. Glad to hear that everyone is doing great, and we can't wait to meet the new addition.